There’s power in prayer

Is it just me who believes that prayer has some form of supernatural strength? It has this undeniable power and I believe through prayer miracles happen. Ok, maybe not the way you expect them to but miracles happen all the time. We just don’t notice. For instance, making it to work and back home daily and safely is a miracle. It’s not just about Jesus walking on water and changing water into wine. Miracles are in the smallest of things and events.

Even when you don’t feel like praying, just pray. Sometimes it appears as if God is ignoring us when we pray. Personally I can be very impatient, I guess I just expect my prayers to be answered immediately and sometimes I get so mad to the extent that I curse and blame God especiallywhen it feels like the world is tumbling down upon me. You know when you are so angry at God you kind of give Him a lecture? Which is not acceptable, but hey, life can really give you lemons sometimes.

Faith! Faith! Faith! Ye of little faith. We all need Faith. Faith and patience. There’s usually three answers to a prayer: Yes, no, wait. Does God answer all our prayers? Yes He very much does but only according to His will and His own time. The saying goes, God’s time is the best time. I couldn’t agree more. And believe you me He always has good plans for us. God can also say no to a prayer. For instance, praying that your enemies rot in hell or don’t get to see the light of day is not acceptable before God and before any reasonable human being. It’s a sin to pray for something bad to happen someone. We all are sinners so we all deserve God’s punishment.

If you pray and believe your heart’s desires will definitely be granted. So there’s power in prayer because it brings us closer to God. God will also manipulate situations in the favour of His believers and you always feel safe and under some form of protection when you pray. Try being prayerful. You’ll see. He never disappoints.

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Are millenials a lost generation?

Surfing the net in the city

I was recently browsing through the internet and came across an article at medium.com by a Niklas Goke. It was an open letter to the millenials titled: ” Dear Millenials, A Letter To The Lost Generation.” He had a few good things to say about the millenials but I was intrigued by the harsh criticism against them. This is how the letter starts:

Dear Millenials, the war is over. It wasn’t a war waged with weapons but with wires, pixels and bytes. The dot-com bubble is swelled, stretched and burst. Risen from the ashes of reckless investments and failed IPOs have we….. 

The letter goes on and on. In the letter, he states that millenials, despite being liberal, social, politically correct and the most educated generation in history, we’re not making, saving or investing enough. He also thinks the millenials are too fancy, immature in relationships, impatient, irresponsible and confused. I cant help but wonder why the most unforgiving criticism against generation Y. We face constant ridicule by the baby boomers and even millenials themselves. In a nutshell, we’re resented for no solid reasons.

The millenials barely get recognition for all the things they are responsible for. We are the catalysts behind a lot of changes. From health, the environment, technology, fashion, research, you name it. Millenials were not the stem of the first and second world wars, the Nazi regime, slavery and colonialism. We did not start economic and socio political crisis. As a matter of fact, we are still paying for the mistakes of the older generation in hopes that one day the world will be a better place than it is today.

Apparently, even the music we listen to is criticized. That its contents are highly immoral. But I know quite a few baby making  songs of the 70’s. I mean if by immoral content you mean dirty or intimate lyrics. Just to mention a few: Do your thing by Isaac Hayes, I want to do something freaky to you by Leon Haywood and Let’s get it on by Marvin Gaye. These songs are explicit and sexually perverted. They were not composed by millenials. Maybe the only difference is that we can’t see women twerking in their videos.

When it comes to ethnicity, millenials are the most ethnic diverse generation. We are more open-minded and exposed to different cultures across the globe unlike the older generation or the baby boomers who were ignorant and there was a lot of ethnic/cultural stereotypes at the time. Our career paths are something else that seems to be a bother. So XYZ is a ” une generation purdue” ( a generation lost) for leaving a promising career in I.T to pursue her passion in the showbiz industry? But wouldn’t you rather do something you’re passionate about? After all passion breeds success.

The negativity and criticism is unnecessary. Times have changed and we’re no longer doing things the old way. Maybe that explains the attitude and ridicule. Young people today want to flourish. Every one wants a bright independent future so they just need the platform. All you have to do is show us the way. Trust the youth ,give young people more opportunities and you will get the best results.

 

Life does not start or end with a ring on your finger ( Some wisdom from a married friend to the unmarried)

 

BRIDE

Oh dear! Life does not start or end with a ring on your finger. It is unfortunate just how people have prioritized marriage. At some point you hit a certain age where everyone around you seems to be tying the knot and you run into panic mode. You sort of feel jealousy burning inside of you when your friends and colleagues bombard you with wedding photos and honeymoons across oceans while flaunting couple goals. Family reunions at this age are a no go zone because your very traditional aunts and uncles can’t quit being on your neck about when you’re introducing your better half to the rest of the family.

But marriage really isn’t an accomplishment or the basis upon which someone’s identity should be established. By the way walking down that isle is no guarantee for a happily ever after so being Mrs. XYZ should not in any way feed your ego. We tend to assume that marriage is all bliss but fail to acknowledge that it is in fact a commitment of a lifetime. There’s a saying, “Marriage without struggle is like an unfired clay pot. It is easily made but will not stand the test of time.” Simply, people are ready to embrace the ups, but how about the downs? Are you prepared for the lies? How about infidelity? Fights with your in-laws? Or having to give up your dreams to raise your children? It can get messy in this institution.

I see people making vows every time I’m invited at weddings and I’m always amused because do they really mean it or is it just for the sake of formality? What do they say?  “To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part.” Heavy words huh?  Having signed that paper work is a big deal. So if peer influence and your annoying relatives pushed you into this union, you are in for a rude shock. Remember, it’s your life being ruined, not theirs, so follow your heart, not theirs.

My point is take your time. Do not let peer influence lead you into rushing to be married. Chase your dreams, explore opportunities, go on dates, fall in love. It’s not a race so just take it one step at a time. All your friends are getting married, so what? Let yours happen naturally, I mean what’s the rush? Make marriage the next logical step after your priorities have been attended to. If marriage is not your thing, then don’t get married.

Good men don’t last

active-adult-assessing-1449050.jpgGood men don’t last. Are you familiar with this phrase? Or how about the phrase “nice guys finish last?” For some girls at least, their ideal prince charming is not the sweet fairy tale character we’ve heard about who comes to the rescue of a damsel in distress and fulfills the dreams of his beloved Cinderella. Some girls are hopeless romantics for a bad boy that makes you almost want to beg to fix him. You know, the type of guy  who sends chills running down your spine, the one that leaves you wondering whether it is butterflies in your stomach or bees stinging. The guy who’s always busy, angry but still hot, does not talk to just anyone, all the ladies want him, you basically have to keep tabs on him because the moment you turn your neck for a second he will be all hers. It’s like bad boys are the creme de la creme.

WHY DON’T GOOD MEN LAST?

 Good guys are always committed as well as invested in the relationship or situation and with commitments comes a lot of demands.

Because they invest their time, energy and effort in the relationship/situation, they want to be appeased, appreciated, pampered and they also want their efforts reciprocated. These demands are basically responsibilities and I think most of us would agree that we dislike responsibilities.

Good men are too available and convenient.

Who wouldn’t want such a person? Well, some girls like someone who is “hard to get,” so they love to chase and just complain about Greg being unavailable. Personally I prefer someone who’s available because I see no point of having someone unreliable in my life or someone I can not call for convenience. I don’t know about you.

Good men are always down for a relationship.

So if you’re a hit and run, one night stand type of guy, friends with benefits type of guy you don’t qualify under the good men category. Do you? Anyway, my point is good men want something serious because they don’t play games. They need loyalty and love the most, but unfortunately girls being girls, they will always root for the playboy type of guy and cry a river when their heart is broken into pieces.

Most girls are after good genes and good investments

That’s the problem you see. Girls want it all. Money, looks and power. Ideally, they want the three in one. Physically attractive, sexually appealing, educated, family oriented and with a potentially high income of course. As a matter of fact a high income is the mother of them all. What’s my point? Girls will opt for material pleasures over love or a good, caring heart. After all, a good heart won’t pay the bills.

Tall, dark and handsome

Ideally, this is the term used in the embodiment of masculinity. It is such a cliche. Normally women fancy dating a tall, dark and handsome man, but what they fail to consider is the challenges that come with dating such a person. I’m not insinuating that all TDH men are a pain in the neck, my point rather is that women tend to set their standards unrealistically high, and when they are eventually disappointed, you’d almost think they never saw it coming. Looks can be deceiving, so the fact that a person is physically attractive is no guarantee that they have an attractive character.

But who is winning in the end? The good guy or the bad guy? I’m rooting for the good guy. I think the bad boys are just around to toughen us and teach us lessons. The experience makes one appreciate having a good man around. You start valuing actions over words, consistency, reciprocity and you never settle for less. The bad boy thing in my opinion is just a phase, to be honest no one wants to settle for a fuck boy or as we call them today “man whore.”

There comes a time when you want to settle and you grow tired of playing the cat and mouse games with a grown man who can’t decide what he wants. Believe you me there’s good men out here, but I hear they are all taken. I suspect they were taken while you were busy chasing the wrong ones. I’m not a love doctor, but when it comes to love, you should lower your standards and at least be reasonable. Otherwise your playlist is gonna be full of those break up hits and sad songs.

 

 

 

 

Who you are versus who they think you are (the reality of social media)

You see two people who are absolute couple goals, more like a match made in heaven and you can’t stop drooling over them. You tap that follow button and turn on your post notifications. They post pics on vacations, weekend gate aways with their friends and families, late night barbecues while displaying all kinds of PDA. But you can only dream of such a blissful union. But are they really as happy as they portray?

Recently I was catching up with my childhood friend since we had not communicated in a while. We were just having a random chat and I was reminiscing on the highs and lows that life had thrown my way. Apparently judging from the pictures I posted on social platforms, I looked like I had it all together, she thought. That’s when it hit me hard just how social media and reality are two totally distinct aspects.

These platforms create an outward persona upon which you are judged. They shape people’s perception of others and more often people don’t portray their ideal self. So often we are caught seeking validation and comparing our lives with strangers via social networks. We are so drifted from reality and what we fail to realize is that people are deceiving.

It’s unfortunate that we let social media establish beauty starndards. How we should dress, the ideal body, blah blah! More often you see someone sharing a picture and you notice that her skin looks radiant and really smooth and her curves are “perfect.” You know, a big butt and a flat tummy. You’d be surprised if you met these people in person. With technological advancements, anything can happen. Ever heard of face tune apps? Or maybe cosmetic surgery? But if you strike a good pause and use good lighting, you’re good to conquer the world.

Social media is a platform for social networking, creating and sharing content, fun, I get it. But since when did we get so obsessed with people’s perception of us? Since when is beauty defined by the number of likes and comments one receives? Food for thought.

I was punished for being left-handed

I’m left handed/ left footed and so I have been since I was young. My sister is ambidextrous though while young she was left-handed. My mom was working in a different state so we were raised by our grandma. From a young age she made attempts to make us stop using the left hand. Usually while doing school assignments she would tie our left hand with a piece of cloth or supervise us with a cane so we wouldn’t write using the left. Don’t get me wrong,she loved us, she just never liked the fact that we are lefties.Eventually my sister learnt using her right hand to write but does all other tasks with the left hand. As for me, boy did she try! I was cautioned never to give or take a thing using my left hand as it was seen as a taboo and disrespectful especially to the elders. My mom intervened and had a talk with grandma so she eventually had to accept that I couldn’t change.The problem is I faced the same challenge at school. Some of my teachers punished me . I beat myself up every time wondering what could be so wrong with me. It affected my performance in school and even at home as I had a difficult time doing simple tasks because switching meant that I also had to adjust mentally. I had to be transferred to a different school.

My curiosity made me dig a little deeper into what could be the cause of all these bias against left-handed people. It dates back into history. It was seen as something evil. Some sort of deformity or wrongness. According to Christianity, God’s left hand is the hand of judgment. The righteous will sit on His right side while the condemned will be called on His left side. That’s why Angel Gabriel or Lucifer rather, is sometimes referred to as God’s left hand.Even today, lefties are inherently disadvantaged and subjected to discrimination. Basic tools like scissors, computer devices, musical instruments, desks and household items like knives and bottle openers are designed for the right handed majority. A left-handed person using these tools in most cases would result into discomfort and even injury. Personally when using a knife or a pair of scissors I end up accidentally injuring myself because the cutting edge/ blade of most knives is on the right whilst when using a pair of scissors designed for the right handed people, I tend to force the blades apart. Usually the piece of cloth or paper I’m trying to cut would just slip between the blades and someone would assume I don’t know how to use a pair of scissors.

I read a certain article by Joshua Goodman, a professor at the Havard Kennedy School. He is of the assumption that lefties tend to have behavioural and emotional issues/problems. I’m not quite sure of the accuracy of his research, neither can I speak for other lefties in general but I couldn’t relate more.Sadly discrimination against lefties persists even today and I think society need to be aware and conscious of the harm such subjection causes. Lefties are equally functional in society and as productive as the right handed majority, maybe even better. Prominent lefties like Benjamin Franklin, Napoleon, Leonardo Da Vinci, Queen Victoria, Barrack Obama, Herbert Hoover, George H.W Bush, Whoopi Goldberg, the list goes on and on have made notable contributions in shaping history. My point is it’s about time the primitiveness and attitudes accorded to left-handedness by society and culture came to an end because they cause more damage than good.

How people get conned in the city

I’ve heard many stories about notorious cons/fraudsters who can smell naivety from miles away. Some stories are as hilarious as they come but sad at the same time. I know for a fact that a lot of us have fallen prey to these conniving conmen but we are too embarrassed to share our experiences. Most people who fall prey to conmen are first timers in the city. What a way to be welcomed! Let me share a few ways people get conned:

1. Money in an envelope

You are young, naive, broke and fresh in college. As you are walking through the streets of the city, a well dressed guy who seems to be in a hurry walks past you but “accidentally” drops an envelope. Since your parents raised you better you decide it would be nice to alert him but before you do, someone else grabs the envelope and opens it. “OMG! It’s money!” He suggests that you go somewhere private to share the mula because he does not want to attract attention. In your mind you have no idea that the two,and I quote “strangers” just executed a perfect plan. You decide to follow the guy to a more private place. In most cases public toilets. He suggests that you get inside and count the money but leave your phone and bag with him as a security. By the time you realise you’ve been played your phone and bag are gone!

2. Hooker

You need your sexual needs attended to so you pick a damsel along the streets and pay for a room. After you’re done with your business you decide to take a short nap before returning home to your wife and kids. You wake up moments later only to find out that your wallet, phone, watch and the damsel are gone. Karma is funny like that!!

3. Lucrative job opportunities

You’re a fresh graduate with a degree in finance. You apply for a prestigious job with an NGO. The starting salary is 150000 shillings. Shortly, you’re given the good news that you’ve been selected due to your impressive academic qualifications despite the fact that you were never called for interview. You have to deposit 1000 shillings for training and as soon as you send the money, the line goes off. You’ve been played! Or rather you just played yourself.

4. Witch doctors/ Magicians

The city is flooded with fliers all over of witch doctors advertising their services. From love portion, wealth, revenge, spouses, you name it. You’re in desperate need of wealth so you need a shortcut to richness. You decide to sought after a witch doctor who has a list of demands that you have to meet. Amongst those demands, you have to deposit at least 30000 shillings but you insist that you first schedule a meeting before depositing the cash. She/he agrees. You meet up at some makeshift structure where the witch doctor performs some rituals on you and asks that you return after a week or so. When you try to schedule a second meeting the number you dial does not go through. Nothing comes easy after all huh?!

The problem is these conmen evolve every day and invent new tricks and game plans almost daily. You have to be smart and less trusting especially when dealing with strangers. Otherwise you will be swindled all your money or property as easy as 1,2,3. How does the saying go? When the deal is too good think twice.